MY Creation TESTIMONY 

 Dedication

For all those who have lost faith in GOD, know GOD still has Faith in You.

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 Preface

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I first heard sound but not sure by Who. Then I realized I was listening to my Creator. Then GOD showed me light. But I didn't remember any of that for decades. Materialism, athleticism, spiritualism, and a profession - these had me thinking nothing was missing and so I didn't know my purpose in life.

But sometimes a nostalgic feeling appeared, and "This magic feeling, alone and nowhere to go..." is from a song I related to. But "anyway the wind blows" better describes human nature and I was no different.

I asked GOD to help at times during an adventurous youth. I reached out and prayed, usually when in pain or when I perceived myself in need. It's what others said would work. There were times it's the only thing which could have.

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Didn't go to church a lot and didn't pursue those lonely feelings much. Spiritualism and materialism served as replacements. I regret that I didn't thank GOD enough for saving me. I had one foot in one door, and one foot in a different door - neither could be considered The Way. But our Creator is Love and healed me after all my mistakes. Living we try; sometimes I would think it's best to not ask why... but I did anyway.

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Introduction

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GOD conveyed a disappointed expression. An event from my past, which I hardly understood, suddenly returned to memory. I felt shame and disappointment at the end of the memory's events. This feeling returned when the memory returned. 

Fortunately, the feelings which the memory resurrected receded when a few days later I remembered more. The next event I remembered was from an even earlier time of my existence, prior to birth. It was enthralling and amazing beyond any of my other spiritual encounters. It includes communicating with my Creator and the first conscious moments of my soul's creation.

The return of these memories bring clarity to me about who I am and how I became a soul in this world. I learned things which had been previously incomprehensible.

This gave me the desire to know more about, and from The Creator. Instead of thinking a Righteous future is a boring future, it became very clear to me that boring doesn't have a place while traveling eternally.

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My journey could be similar or very different than yours; infinity makes for many possibilities. I sincerely hope you find my testimony as help for your journey toward a future of Love.

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Chapter 1 - My Earliest Memory is Replaced

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Through early adulthood, I had a few inconsequential and scattered memories of my pre-school and early life - playing with toys and family picnics.  My earliest memory was with my mom while she was shopping in a store.

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She was looking at clothes while I sat waiting near the changing rooms. I was wearing my best clothes. I remember swinging my feet as they didn't reach the floor.  Shoppers went into changing rooms and then would step out in new clothes and go to where there was a mirror. I remember thinking how pretty they are.

But it was in my twenties when an exception to the typical child memories appeared. This memory of an earlier time of my life was clear and complete. It returned to me on a sunny day about noon. I was resting in my van following a morning of surfing. Still parked in front of the ocean, I suddenly realized this event had happened to me.

This new memory made me think the globe had suddenly changed somehow. It would also change my view of this world. I call this memory, "When the World Changed," because this is something which was revealed during the memory's events.​

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Chapter 2 - When The World Changed

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The event returned so detailed, it was if it had never been absent. In a single instant I re-discovered that this had happened to me, and it returned all my feelings and thoughts during the event in addition to the events themselves.

I was two years old. I was on the floor of my home playing with toys. I remember my feelings, happy and peaceful staying at home with my mom. She was in the kitchen which I could see partially from the living room where I played. I remember sounds of dishes and pans as my mom worked in the kitchen.

I heard the front door unlock. My dad opened the door. Bright sunlight shined through the door and filled the room. My mom was surprised to see him so early and walked into the room with an inquisitive look. My dad gathered his keys, closed the door and turning to my mom, announced, "The President's been shot!"

My mind didn't know those words at that time. I didn't understand what he said. Yet from the tone of how he said it, I saw it as both significant and disturbing.

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What happened next, over two or three minutes, became an insight into the unexplainable. My mind switched into a different state. All of a sudden, my toddler mind changed to a mature mind. My toddler mind had not understood, but now my mature mind could. I understood the word "President," and what it meant to be shot.

I remember thinking how this event happening in my mind cannot be explained with the rules of this world as were known to me then. I asked myself, "How can I have two minds so different at the same time?"

My contemplation about this exceptional situation was interrupted when an "outside" thought quickly arrived. It demanded my attention. Knowledge which I wasn't sure where from, told me something significant about this world would now be different - as if the world was leaning one way but would now go a different way. It wasn't a peaceful feeling as the information conveyed that the new path was not as good as before. 

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Recognizing this made me unhappy. But I returned to contemplate the amazing nature of the event itself. I focused on what it means to be experiencing a mature mind as a toddler. I wondered if knowing something without explanation could be more important than recognition of a global change, following this terrible event. 

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In what seemed like a rush, I was interrupted a second time with more knowledge. My mature mind, with these more complex thinking abilities, would not last - it would fade away. I would soon go back to having only my toddler mind. 

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Again, this didn't make me feel good. I wasn't happy knowing how short this experience would be. I wanted to cling to my mature mind.

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More upsetting, I understood once back to my toddler mind only, I would forget the entire event. I was upset about this and didn't want to forget; it seemed unwarranted. I wasn't aware yet how temporarily forgetting can sometimes be a good thing.

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I struggled for a way to not forget what was taking place. I thought how this occurrence was evidence of more than just the world's physical rules I understood at that time in my young life.  It was clear my life of toys and a physical existence was not the whole truth. I wanted to keep this knowledge and searched for how.

I wasn't sure how to delay the inevitable. I did the only thing I could think of. With all the concentration my mature, yet slipping-away mind could muster, I said internally: "I don't want to forget this." and kept repeating it. I thought that if I stayed focused on this desire then I may defeat fate and not forget this mystery. 

For the next few moments, I said, "I don't want to forget this, not going to forget this." I kept repeating it, as my mature mind was fading. With as much will-power as I could find, I continued: "... I must not forget this, must not forget, don't forget..." right up until my mature mind was gone, and I forgot everything. 

My attempt to remain with concentration on the thought was futile. Back to my normal toddler self, and with no recollection of the event, I began to cry.  I cried for a while. It got my mom's attention. She looked at me and I stopped crying. I couldn't remember why I'd been crying.​

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Chapter 3 - The Movie

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Decades went by after that memory's return, about the world changing. I thought about it a lot for some years but then simply put it away. It was not my first spiritual encounter. I just put it in long term memory.  It instilled into me more knowledge of the spiritual realm but did not change me much. I continued to pursue the same interests - my mostly material life and my ambitions remained in control. The memory's significance to me faded, and I mostly stopped thinking about it by my 40's. 

Suddenly, in my 50's, without any reason or warning I could detect, a new memory returned It replaced the previous one and was now my earliest memory of life - although it remained in that position for only a few days. I call this memory "The Movie," because it involves just that.

Like the previous memory, I remembered in a split second the entire event. I was sitting down and had begun my day when suddenly I realized all this had happened to me. There I was, similar to before, recounting in my mind a clear and complete memory from my early childhood. 

The memory included the words spoken, my thoughts, and my feelings during the event. It returned with such clearness that it was as if it had just happened, although I would have been only about 1 year old.

More amazing and longer than the memory download which returned to me in my 20's, it sent me into a state of near shock. It was almost beyond my ability to cope with. I continuously repeated it in my mind for days.

The memory started from when I was in a crib, and my mom had just put me down to sleep. She turned off the lights and left the room. But then they turned back on by themselves. I noticed this as something out of the ordinary; yet the unusual nature of this didn't bother me. Then quickly, something pulled me up above my crib, into space, and then into a different setting. 

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Out of my body I was complete but without physical body. My mind changed as it had done in the "when the world changed" memory. But this time, the noticeable difference between my toddler mind and my mature mind did not capture my amazement. I did not feel surprised about my mind's sudden switch, only recognizing it as rare. It could be my materially based toddler mind was still too new to have more of an impact in that moment.

In this place I found myself, there were two beings, but I could not see them clearly. I figured they were angels. They were slightly above me and about 6 meters away. At an angle to them and closer to me was a movie screen about the size of a home theatre. A movie began to play and without much concern over what was occurring, I simply watched it start. 

The movie had barely started when I was given instructions by one of the angels. I was told to let them know if there was anything in the movie I wanted to do. I accepted the instruction without a second thought and returned my attention to the movie.

It started with the events of this world from far in the past; I was watching history. The movie wasn't like a movie on television, it felt more real, it easily absorbed my attention. The movie drew me in to the point of feeling the emotions from people in the movie. I felt like I entered into the scenes. It was emotionally powerful.

The movie progressed through violent times, and I rejected any desire to be involved. I didn't like what I was seeing and wanted no part of the feelings being conveyed. I attempted to block the emotions given off by the movie and instead keep my attention grounded to where I was watching from - but this was something I wasn't able to do very well.

After some time like this I became annoyed at being subjected to this "beyond real" movie, with the violence and pain it conveyed. Then suddenly, as if my reactions were noticed, the movie began to speed up and move much faster through history. 

I do not remember all the details at this part, and don't know exactly how much had gone by when it started to slow back down. It was long enough that I forgot in a way about the instructions I'd been given; I was no longer paying attention that way. But I did remember...

The movie arrived at modern times. There was still violence but there was now also many more scenes of pleasure and exciting events. I continued to watch and was very captured by the emotions from the movie. It arrived at scenes of pure sensual pleasure and I became caught up emotionally in them. Then, I must have remembered the instructions, because I announced, "I want to do that."

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It was the first time I had spoken. The movie paused. 

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One of the angels responded to my statement, "Then surely you will die."

My mature mind thought about this, I'd not expected anything like that. I recognized it was a bad thing but didn't understand much about death at that time in my young life. 

I am not sure why, but possibly out of my pride or inability to think clearly or with care, I responded quickly. I regret saying it, but attempting to both ask a question and affirm my desire, I replied, "But then I can be born again, right?" It was something I must have thought as being what happens after death. 

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I believe I was asking about reincarnation back into this world. But I'm not sure exactly what I was trying to say. I may have just simply responded too quickly with what first came to mind.

I wish today that my words could be reversed. I would have rather said something different which may have allowed me to avoid my cavalier attitudes and subsequent life of many mistakes and sins. I learned from the next memory that I was not always a good student around angels.

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I did not get time to reverse my mistake and immediately recognized something was wrong with my reply when the movie went from pause to taken away. The angels said nothing more and left. I was unhappy by the way things had unfolded. 

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Quickly, I was traveling back to my body. On the way, GOD appeared to me. I could not see the face of GOD clearly, but I could tell for sure GOD appeared with a message: an expression of disappointment in me. I felt devastated at having disappointed my Creator. 

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I then returned to my body and forgot everything, until 5 decades later when this memory returned. When it did, the same disappointment I felt in the final moments of the event also returned. The feeling which had weighed heavy upon me then, returned to weigh heavy upon me again.
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Chapter 4 - My Creation Revealed

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Fortunately, three days after "the movie" memory returned, another memory returned. I'd been distraught for those 3 days. The recollection of my actions during "The Movie" event drained me of energy and threw me into depression. GOD responded by revealing things which gave renewed hope. I'm grateful to GOD for the feelings of love and salvation which this next recollection brought me. 

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This new memory was different than the others, it contained much more knowledge.  It appeared in my mind as before. But this time, the returned memory wasn't a single event like the others: it was a collection of many events. It downloaded into my brain in a split second. I suddenly remembered events filled with interesting knowledge about myself, human beings, angels and about GOD. 

It started with me in a completely dark location. Far away from anything is how it was. I didn't have a body. I had a mind and feelings. My mind had the ability to think maturely. I was not all knowing but not sure how much I knew. I could think clearly and deeply although I don't remember doing that a lot. Time and space seemed irrelevant. There wasn't anything to do and not much to think about. 

I wasn't afraid and there wasn't anything to be afraid of. I didn't have any desires, but I had characteristics and understood these were part of me. Without any concern or anything to do, calmly time went by - although time was something which seemed only relevant if I decided to pay attention to it. 

Nothing appeared and I didn't sense anything, until a "Voice" showed up. I sensed a presence come into my area and heard a voice. I wasn't overly surprised, but I was curious. My feelings and thoughts were at peace, and I remained completely calm as the Voice spoke.

In a peaceful tone, the Voice asked me, "Who is your Creator?"

I didn't respond. I remember thinking to myself or possibly feeling like maybe I'd rather not say anything, although I'm not entirely sure why I stayed silent. I wasn't sure if I knew the answer or even if I fully understood the question.

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Given my silence and after a few moments, the Voice simply left. I wasn't upset that it had left, just as I hadn't been emotionally impacted when the Voice appeared. This happened numerous times. 

Time would go by in complete peace and darkness. I would contemplate things, including the Voice that would show up on occasion, but I wasn't in a hurry about anything. Then without warning and without interrupting my tranquility, the Voice would again arrive and ask: "Who is your Creator?" Each time I would remain quiet and when I didn't say anything, the Voice would leave.

Numerous times this happened but I'm not sure how many. Then, on what would be the final time, when the Voice asked me "Who is your Creator?" I made a calculated decision.

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I thought, "I've been here for a long time and there's absolutely nothing going on here except me - except when it's me, and occasionally this Voice."

I continued thinking, "Now again the Voice is here and it's always just the two of us. If there's just the two of us and nothing else, then there's a logical, simple answer."

To the Voice I replied, "You are my Creator."  

When I said that, the lights turned on. I could instantly tell I'd answered correctly and was in the presence of GOD, THE ALMIGHTY. 

GOD then showed me many things. An information gathering time passed where I learned of fantastic things about the realm of Creation. I learned about stories of existence and about who I am as a being from GOD.  I saw many things including living things - yet it felt like a view from beyond and above. I remember it as an amazing and special period of learning in a very individual way. 

After GOD had taken me to a variety of places and I had seen many things, we returned to the same place as before. It seemed that this place was special for me. It was light in this place now which was the only difference from before. I noticed the light was because of GOD. 

Next, a more direct conversation took place.  I interacted with GOD at this point on a level that was beyond simply learning but instead more like a Relationship. The communication methods were new and complex. I never heard GOD's Voice again, communication was always mental. This is when I recognized GOD had a form like mine, although I could not see clearly the form of GOD.  

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It is this conversation where Jesus Christ, as The Messiah of this world, becomes part of my believing. I was raised Jewish but never closed off my mind from the possibility of a Living Messiah.  I had read parts of The New Testament although my parents may have disapproved. It felt to me as the experience was unfolding that GOD'S Son, recognizable only as GOD, speaking with Authority from GOD, asked me a question.

GOD asked me, "DO YOU LOVE ME?"

I said, "Yes, I love you."

GOD caringly and soothingly responded, "I LOVE YOU TOO."

Then GOD asked, "WILL YOU HELP ME?"

I said, "Yes, of course I will."

GOD then planted the following idea into my head in an instant: "I want you to go to a place. I want you to help things be better there."

As I interpreted the conveyed message into words, feelings of reluctance in me appeared. GOD instantly understood my reluctance and fear of the unknown.

GOD said, "I WILL GO TO YOU IF YOU CALL FOR ME."

I felt re-assured. My reluctance left. I thought to myself: "If GOD is going to be there to help me and all I need to do is ask GOD to help then this should be quite trivial - the whole place should be fixed up in no time at all."

GOD did not interrupt this thought, allowing me to complete it. Then at that moment I recognized a reaction from GOD. GOD displayed an emotional reaction to me about what I was thinking. It was a reaction like laughter.

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Many things, similar to "easier said than done," and "not in the plan," I would reflect upon later. But at that moment I did not think about those things because quickly GOD continued. 

A single thought arrived to me immediately. GOD said (I'm paraphrasing how I interpreted it), "Well, trivial no, it's not like that. Just help out as you can. Do what you can to help."

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GOD's response confused me and my prior feelings of reluctance returned. I pondered internally, "If GOD is going to be there to help when called then why only a "little" help from me was expected?" I understood the immense power and infinite capabilities of GOD, so I knew there was something I did not understand.

With worry returned, I asked GOD, "Can you explain to me what it is like first?"

GOD replied, "YOU WON'T UNDERSTAND, IT'S SOMETHING WHICH YOU MUST EXPERIENCE TO UNDERSTAND."

I accepted this answer. But still concerned, I asked, "But if I call for you, you will be there to help me if I need your help?"

GOD affirmed to me again that if I called on GOD then GOD would go there to help me.

My reluctance faded again. I thought "what could go wrong" and I accepted to go on the journey. 

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Chapter 5 - Getting Prepared for this World

Angels told me that there is a real significance to the place I was heading and that the things I would do would have consequences and I would be accountable regarding my actions there. If I did something wrong or bad, then it could impact me.

I was given some trial runs in my body or at least with a spiritual animation of a body using intense feelings. I don't remember all the practice sessions in detail, but some significant ones are clear. 

During these trial runs, Angels would take me to a place where I was given certain desires and placed into circumstances where I could attain those desires.

I made an assumption which turned out to be wrong prior to the first session. I was ready to enter with a desire installed into me. I could see that I would be able to act upon the desire. I thought fulfilling the desire was the purpose. 

I was wrong. Just before entering, I was told that these tests are for me to *not* give in to the desire.

To one of the angels, surprised I asked, "I'm not supposed to give into the desire?"

The angel replied, "That is correct, you are to try and refrain from acting out on the desire."

Thinking strategically I said, "So if I go in there and don't do anything, simply do nothing at all, then I will pass?"

The angel shrugged and didn't directly answer. The angel repeated, "Just don't give into the desire and you pass."

As simple as it may have seemed, I did not always do well. In one series of practices, I completely gave in to the desire on each try, or maybe passed only once.

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The angels repeated the instructions when a new series of tests would begin. My original confusion and questioning about "not giving in to the activity" happened both at the beginning of the practices for the smell sensation, and also at the start of the attraction practices. I later recognized that the two events were actually one in time.
 

The first practice was the smell sensation. I was given the ability to take in smells Entering the room, it smelled beautiful. I remember it now like flowers, though I did not have that reference to rely on. GOD showed me flowers, and the flowers had amazing beauty. In that experience, I noticed something which the flowers gave out, beyond their visual beauty. But I did not recognize at that time how it would also have an associated smell. 

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In the practice room, I didn't understand smells came from flowers, I just knew smells as a sensory experience, and that I enjoyed it. The smell in the room was both pleasant and comforting to experience. It also added interest into my feelings.

I could tell that the smell was coming from a box on a table. The box distributed the smell; it was about 2 meters away. I thought about walking toward it but the smell was pretty strong throughout the room, so I decided not to.  

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I thought, "I've already smelled it, so I guess I gave in to it."

I turned around and went for the exit.  The angel was there, and as I left the room said, "You passed."

I said to the angel that I didn't. "I smelled the nice smell," I told the angel.

"Yes, but that's ok, you didn't let it control you," was the angel's reply. 

I wondered how a smell was going to be able to control me. With curiosity, I thought about what would be required to make that happen. Would an even "nicer" smell do that? Or what if I'd gone closer to the table from where the smell emanated? Would it be stronger and then control me? I wasn't sure I was learning anything from the activity. I wanted to try again.

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I said to the angel, "I don't think I did it right, I'm not sure if I did this correctly."

"You did fine, you passed," replied the angel.

"I think I should try again," I said.

The angel patiently added, "Well, you don't have to, but sure."

On the next try, I went over to the table with the box on it. To my surprise, while the smell was more abundant, it did not seem any nicer or more powerful. It didn't take any control over me. I exited the room again. I wasn't sure how a sensory experience could take control of a person. I was again not sure of this try but the angel confirmed again that I passed. 

Still, I wanted to try one more time. I asked if I was to try and prevent myself from actually allowing the smell to enter me. I asked if I was supposed to find a spot where the smell was not so prevalent or weaker?​​ The angel was not concerned about those things.

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"You have to smell it, there's no place there where the smell is weaker. You smell it, but you do not let it control you," said the angel.

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I was starting to notice things about angels. With angels sometimes I didn't get a whole lot of information. I did not ask obvious questions like what a smell in control of me really means. ​But I did have a thought that if I allowed it to control me, it would somehow stop me from leaving the room. That thought made me insist about trying again.​

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I now concentrated on the smell while moving around the room.  I felt unsure of the exercise. I remember thinking about giving the nice smell a chance to take hold of me. I figured if something had the power to control me, then maybe I should find out now with this nice smell before trying with something else. The smell didn't respond, nor did the box on the table.

I thought about staying in the room for a lengthy period of time. I thought about taking in more smell. I had the ability to take in the smell in larger amounts if I tried to, so I did this for a little while.​​​

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Finally, I took one last smell. Nothing but more of a nice smell is what I felt. I thought about how smells must be just very casual, nice experiences. I figured smells, or at least this one, had little or no power. I waited for a moment or two and then just exited the room again.

The angel was there and was pleased by the event, saying, "You did great. You passed again." 

I asked the angel about other kinds of smells, if they could be much stronger or weaker. I had no concept of what a bad smell could be like, so I did not ask about those. It was not part of my thinking; I'd never experienced something repulsive.

The angel answered, "There are weaker and stronger, but the smell you were with was about as strong as they get for where you're going."

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I thanked the angel for helping and felt I'd completed the practices mostly with ease. At that moment, I remembered how angels know a lot, yet don't say a lot. After thinking this, a new fact about smells appeared to me. I realized they're not always so impotent. That they're infinite or near infinite, and only where I was going, would they be limited in number and power.

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Taste came next. I looked into the room. Lots of food was placed elegantly on a long table.  I remembered the instructions from before but was still reminded about not getting controlled by the experience.

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My palate activated as I entered, I saw the food nicely arranged but was not able to smell it. I knew I could taste but decided not to. I didn't taste the food even though it looked enticing and my palate had begun to salivate. I just quickly turned around and left the room.

The angel asked, "You did not want to try the food?"

I explained, "the purpose is to not give into the desire or let the sensation take control, so I figured it'd be easy to just not try the food and leave."

The angel said, "yes you passed, you can control yourself from taking part in the act. However, you can also taste the food, but still not let it impact you so much as to take control over you."

"Ok, but I passed like this, correct?" 

I'm not sure why on the previous smell series of tests I was enthusiastic in the experience yet now was in a hurry. I'd been more interested in understanding the event before. But now I was on the verge of being lazy about things. Looking back, I would sometimes wonder if I should have asked for time between practices to refresh and to contemplate more about them.

The angel did not respond but instead conveyed an expression of not wanting to end things like this. It seemed as if the angel wanted me to try again. There was now only silence and patience from the angel.

After a while, I inquisitively asked, "So I should try it again?"

The angel replied, "Yes, you can if you want to, it's a good idea, and this time taste the food, just don't let it control you. Where you are going, you will need to act regarding food, at least sometimes."

I went back in and tried some food. It tasted good but I had no need for food. The concept of hunger was unknown to me. Only from this world I now realize what the angel was talking about.

Other than nice taste, I didn't notice any other impacts from the food. I left after only trying a few items even though there was plenty of food. 

"You can go another time if you want, you can try some of the other foods, there's a lot of options there if you want to do it again," said the angel.

I'm confident today, that if I'd tried some more of the beautifully arranged foods that I would have better appreciated the sensation of taste.  But I said, "no, I think that is enough." I was no longer enthusiastic and just felt as if passing twice was enough. 

There were some less significant practices. One was regarding touch. The angels installed the touch ability. They asked me to touch different materials and comment on them. I felt them and after each, we would discuss them. The surfaces were slick, with ridges, sticky, spongy or with patterns. Most felt very nice.

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Rarely there would be one I would not experience a nice feeling from. This is my only practice time experience which contained something which did not deliver at least some amount of pleasure.

The angels were eager to discuss these "neutral" experiences in particular. I did not see it as especially important and this change in their attitude surprised me. It wasn't that these materials felt bad; I was indifferent about them. Some examples of these were the sticky, spongy (in an absorbing way) and abrasive surfaces. This series of practices have many details still missing from my memory. But I especially remember feeling surprised with how the angels had this change in their behavior.

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I noticed a difference in the angels' behavior. The angels were unusually eager to discuss the not nice or "indifferent" touch sensations with me. They would ask me questions and try to get me to expand on my feelings about those particular materials. The angels were finally able to coax me into admitting these materials were indeed not nice to feel.

After these touch sensations were done, the angels gave me a physical body. I now had a body, and could see into the next practice session room. Another human being also with a physical body was in the room. I was not yet in the room but could already feel a strong attraction to the other person.

Seeing the other person in the room triggered the attraction. The angels were able to see this attraction within my being. They then told me that these practices were for me to refrain from my desire to touch the other person. It is here where I repeated the same discussion about this topic as before - about the purpose of these practices and strategy. It happened again as if it was the first time discussing it.

Not giving in to my desire was now something I was unable to accomplish. In the other practices it'd been easy but now it was difficult. Each time entering into the room, there was a very beautiful human being in front of me. It was beyond what I could control, and I would merge with them. I was unable to resist. Both fantastic results and the super strong attraction had me.

Different in some way each time and always with stunning peace and harmony, the results of merging created bliss and a lasting satisfaction. I found everything about the experience likable. After exiting, the angels would tell me I must try again. I didn't need to be encouraged.

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I felt as if it was impossible to become bored with these practice sessions. Lovable in the way they looked and what they were wearing, the close up view only increased the attraction I felt. Approaching them I would encounter enticement, charm and fascination.

Then finally, I was able to not give in to the attraction desire and the bliss which always occurred. It was on the tenth try or possibly much later. Stepping out, having not touched the other person, I was congratulated by the angles and told that I had passed. 

I asked, "But what about all the other times I did not pass?"

"Passing once is enough, it's all that's required," said the angel.  
 

I was concerned about this. At best, I'd passed once in ten tries. But I don't remember what came next or if the conversation continued on this point. I only remember that I accepted the answer.

The preparations ended. I would now have a final conversation with GOD before entering the world. I'd practiced for this world with help from angels for what seemed like a few days only - yet I was already starting to miss being with The Creator. 

It's then, when I remembered looking forward to another conversation with GOD that another human soul appeared to me. I did not recognize this human, but could tell they were also preparing for this world. This other human soul began to question my readiness for entering this world.
 

"Why are you in a hurry to go, don't you think some more practice sessions would be a good idea?" the other inquired.

I mentioned that I passed all practice tests.

This statement may not have been entirely correct, I'd passed, but not with flying colors. Maybe I did not correctly pass the body contact test with another human being? Later contemplation made me wonder if I'd not really passed according to the true purpose of the test - although at that time I did not recognize this.

After numerous times giving in to my desires, I was starting to hold a satisfaction within my feelings. I did not pass using my free will to halt the desire when it was strong for me, but when it wasn't as much so. I was able to not touch the other being because the times prior had saturated my senses - I was still feeling immense pleasure from the prior practices during the last attempt. During that last time, we did not touch although the two of us did discuss the event.

Is it possible the other human soul knew this? Had they witnessed the practice sessions I went through, or had they experienced something similar? These questions I ask now but at the time I did not recognize my errors fully.  I did not realize this flaw. Only now looking back do I realize I passed not out of self-control but instead because of the quick succession of the test runs themselves.

I continued responding to the other human without much concern, "....and besides, those practices aren't real, as in the real world, where GOD has asked us to go."

The other person replied, "Do you really understand what is real and what is not real? How do you know the practice sessions are less real than where you're going?"

I was unable to answer. I thought about it for a moment but figured my inability to understand shouldn't hold me up. I expressed my desire to continue on the path forward into the world.

Then I felt the telepathic words in a more encouraging way, "Are you sure you are ready? You can do more practice sessions if you want."

"GOD told me that all I need to do is call for GOD and GOD will show up to help," I replied.

"Yes, but The Relationship with GOD is not the same there, as it is here. It could be different than you expect." 

I'm not sure how the other person knew this, and I did not understand it's meaning well. But I was still undeterred.

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I didn't really put lots of importance on the things which angels and this other soul said to me. I'd paid absolute attention and with total sincere respect and love during my encounters with GOD, but I did not act the same with other beings. When I was with others, I did not pay enough attention, and I did not treat those experiences with as much importance as I should have.

The difference between being around and learning from GOD was vast. It was more like a "let-down" when I was around others. Although I recognize my behavior as less than appropriate in retrospect, at the time I did not self-reflect upon it. I did not really do my homework when it came to learning from others and from angels.

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This time was no different and I quickly said, "I believe I'm ready."

I held fast to my confidence in my ability to continue on my way. To this day, I still wonder about my decisions - but my faith in GOD kept me moving forward then, just as my faith in GOD still does today.

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Chapter 6 - Decisions Prior to Arriving

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I was now ready to be born into a new world. I proceeded into the following conversation with GOD before entering this world. 

GOD appeared to me in the same place as before. GOD conveyed to me that there were some decisions to make prior to entering into this world. The first was about memory itself.

GOD told me that I would be judged for my actions while in this world. GOD told me that it would be taken in my favor, and I would be forgiven my sins if I would go into this world without my prior memories. 

I thought about this and immediately wondered if this meant the preparation period would be removed from memory or if it also meant the time of learning, just after my initial creation period, would also be removed. I saw these two as distinctly different and at first believed that my memory removal would only apply to the training sessions and those conversations and actions.

GOD did not interrupt me as I thought about this and was simply waiting on me. So I then asked directly to GOD if things shown to me in my first learning encounter as a being in the presence of GOD would also be taken away from my mind prior to going, in addition to the practice events?

GOD placed the following exact words directly into my mind: " YES, YOU WON'T REMEMBER THEM, YOU WON'T REMEMBER ANYTHING, AND THEREFORE YOU WILL BE FORGIVEN EVERYTHING."

I was concerned at this point even though I don't recall all of my exact feelings. I do remember being both surprised and worried, I had not expected a decision of such magnitude. 

I asked GOD about this, and GOD was patient with me. GOD, when communicating with me, would sometimes place the exact words into my mind, telepathically. Other times, entire ideas were inserted and then my mind would translate the ideas into words. God would see me do this and add more details, depending upon my internal feelings and interpretations during the process. GOD would clear up misconceptions when I would make them during my interpretations and always with great patience and love.

I asked, "Everything I might do wrong will be forgiven?" 

GOD replied, "YES, YOU WILL BE FORGIVEN EVERYTHING,..." and then GOD clarified, "...YET THERE ARE SINS WHICH ONE CAN BE HELD SEVERELY ACCOUNTABLE FOR."

I was not clear about the line drawn. I understood there was a fundamental and yet flexible relationship between GOD and myself and getting to a better Relationship where I would understand more was the path I was on. In this way, although I did not understand completely, I felt as if I understood enough. 

I interpreted that there are some sins which could be judged very harshly. But I also understood that GOD was expressing complete faith in me and was certain I would be forgiven everything which I might do wrong. I pondered about my future for a long time and worried that I might cross some point which could severely impact me.

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GOD then at some point during this thinking of mine, repeated to me, "GO WITHOUT YOUR MEMORY AND YOU WILL BE FORGIVEN ALL OF YOUR SINS."

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I became less concerned; I trusted that GOD understood me and would also help me if I needed. 

Still, there was a sadness which impacted me. I did not want to let go of my experiences up to that point. GOD was patient with me and waited for my response. 

​

I understood the path I should select, even though I'm pretty sure I could have backed out of the entire adventure at that moment, if I had decided to.

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I had wanted to keep my memories, especially those from my first learning encounter with GOD as that time was, and still is, without any possible words to describe. But I understood if I made mistakes then I might not be forgiven. My complete and total trust in GOD kept me wanting to move forward. 

I asked again if my sins would be forgiven, and GOD assured me again that they would. I remember GOD being completely confident in my ability and I seem to remember that GOD believed this to be my best path, to go without my memory - so I selected to remove it.

GOD accepted my decision and remained patiently with me. Although the decision was made and the conversation was quiet, GOD understood my feelings and remained with me for a long time in total silence. I thought about my future again and about what I might face in my future. GOD simply remained with me patiently. I could feel how GOD conveyed Infinite Love, and this removed my fears and took away many of my concerns.

After a long while, I started to recover from the deep feelings in me this first decision had caused. It is then that I remembered there were other decisions also pending and so I asked about those. GOD explained that all those additional things were actually not all that important. 

I started to wonder what they were. GOD began to tell me about them. There were a variety of things and many things to select.

When GOD mentioned to me about the different jobs one could take upon themselves, there were very many and so I absorbed information about them in a very rapid fashion. I thought about why I was going to this world and that moment GOD paused to listen to me. I completed my thought wondering what job would be best for GOD .

I asked to GOD, "What would be the best job to help YOU? 

GOD Replied to me, "PROPHET OR PREACHER." 

GOD just told me those names and it did not tell me that much.  I did not understand those positions, so GOD then explained to me what they were in more detail.

I wondered about the two different roles and said to GOD, "it seems that being a prophet is easier than being a preacher."

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GOD Said, "THEY'RE ACTUALLY ABOUT THE SAME."

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There was more about the different things I could select but I don't remember them all.

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After a while absorbing and listening, I felt as if the decisions paled in comparison to the first decision about memory.​​​ I also felt somewhat overwhelmed at this point and didn't want to address these additional decisions. 

GOD became quietly and peacefully waiting for me with love and kindness - and while watching my thoughts. It gave me a feeling of being special and important to GOD

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A long period went by where I felt as if I wouldn't even know how to begin with the decisions. There were many and I saw them as insignificant. I also felt as if I might not be able to make good decisions. Time went by as I assimilated my feelings and thoughts about these decisions.

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I felt only patience and love from GOD. Thinking more, I wondered if my Creator could make these decisions for me. This may have been one of the few times where I used intelligence in a productive way. I still only felt quiet patience and love from GOD. I asked this, and GOD replied to me that it was allowed to do it that way.

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I left all the other choices to GOD, figuring that would be best. With this decision confirmed, I detected this to be the end of the decision making. GOD acted as if that didn't matter and just remained there with me.

After a while, I spoke again. I was again thinking about how I was going without memories, I felt I would be lost and would need help. I asked if there were any signposts along this journey. I asked if there were instructions I would find. I kept thinking intensely about this...

My concern was seen in its' entirety, as were all my most important concerns. I wanted to know if there was anything where I was going which could help guide me. GOD responded with these words: 

"YES, THERE ARE.  I WROTE A BOOK, ACTUALLY SEVERAL OF THEM," said GOD, THE ALMIGHTY ONE.​​

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Chapter 7 - Reflections

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For years, following the return of the two memories from my fifties, I meditated on them - every day and any free time. I slept only a few hours each day and worked on what had been a lifetime of meditation practice.

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During meditation, I focused on The New Covenant of GOD, the words of Jesus Christ and select passages from The Torah. I also now meditated for the benefit of GOD and this made a difference.​ It was during these reflections another important memory returned. GOD reminded me how He had reached out to me.

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I was only 6. There was a large fruit tree near my home that I climbed often to eat from the great tasting fruit. I was a skinny young boy climbing a large tree.

On one special day, I decided to climb high in the tree and eat the berries near the top. It was a sunny day and when I reached the highest branches which would support me, I saw the bright sunlight shine through the tree leaves.

Reaching for some fruit, I suddenly heard the voice of an angel. The angel said only 4 words, "GOD wrote a book." I was stunned by the event. I did not remember about angels and was uncertain why I was hearing this.

I climbed to the bottom of the tree. I thought about this strange event for a few moments. I had only been reading books for about a year. I wondered intensely about the angel's words on my way back home. I did not tell anyone. I thought this was something possibly just for me because nobody had ever mentioned to me that angels from the spiritual realm will speak to people. 

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The next morning, I thought about the angel's words on my long walk to school. I was afraid to ask just anyone, I understood stigma already by that early age. But I managed to get up the courage to quickly ask a random teacher at my school. Since he taught of a different grade, I figured he would forget about it over time.

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I said, "Excuse me sir, I just want to ask a question."

He looked at me and said, "Ok."

"Did GOD write a book?" I asked.

He looked at me more in the eyes and paused for a second, then said, "Yes, it's called The Bible."

I was ready to ask about the name as my next question. I'd planned on asking someone else if he had said 'no.' Since he gave the name, I just thanked him and quickly left, going into a crowded hallway. I noticed his eyes briefly following me.

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I was not sure what to do next but felt as if I'd made progress. That afternoon, out to play as usual, I thought about how to continue with the information the angel had delivered. I knew there was a bookstore in town. I walked many streets to get there and had to ask directions from strangers several times.

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I arrived finally at the bookstore, but it was closed. I walked back home. I was late and my mom asked me why. I didn't give an answer just saying I was out playing and got a bit lost - which is something that often happened to me in my neighborhood.

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The next day after school, I debated whether to continue on my pursuit of things. I was a little kid just wanting to play. Also, the event seemed less fresh and so somehow less important to me. But I recognized the event as special so decided to return to the bookstore. I remember wondering if I would now have enough time since I had debated with myself for so long.

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I made it to the bookstore before closing. I had no money in my pocket. I felt embarrassed going in there by myself as a little kid. "Surely the manager will know I don't have any money" I thought. I could see through the window of the small bookstore that there were no other shoppers in there.

I got the courage and entered. The manager welcomed me and asked me what I was looking for. I asked to see the religious section. He took me there. I thanked him and then he left me alone. 

I saw there were many Bibles and took one from the shelf. Noticing how long it was, I realized there was no way to understand what it's about in the short time I would be left alone by the manager. However, I knew that a book can be somewhat understood cursorily from the table of contents.

I opened The Bible to the table of contents and noticed there were two sections which read, The Old Covenant and The New Covenant. I understood the word covenant although I noticed that I had to think about it for a second. It upset me because my next thought was that this could not be possible.

I thought, "Why would GOD do that?" It seemed odd to me that there would be different rules for different times, and yet we're all humans.

I continued to think about it. I thought to myself that if there are two, and if they're both true then GOD would have a segway, a transition between them.

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In the table of contents, I looked for last book of The Old Testament, figuring this is where a transition should be. It was the book of Malachi. The book edges had thumb marking which helped my little fingers find the section. I was glad at this because I noticed Malachi was much shorter than many of the other sections and I felt as if I was running out of time - the manager would likely return soon.
 

A page opened in Malachi and when I looked down to read, the first passage I saw was 3:1, a quote from GOD:
 

“Behold, I will send My messenger, who will prepare the way before Me. Then the Lord whom you seek will suddenly come to His temple—the Messenger of the covenant, in whom you delight—see, He is coming,” says the LORD of Hosts."

I did not fully understand it. But I saw the word "covenant" and thought to myself that this must be the transition I was looking for. At that moment I noticed the manager was heading back my way. I closed the book. He asked if I wanted to buy it and I replied "No, but thank you kind sir," as I quickly left the store.
 

I was not even seven years old yet and wondered about what I should do with this knowledge. Walking home I wondered what this whole adventure meant to me. I wanted to go back to playing and climbing trees, but I was out of time. My mom, a little sterner this time, asked me again about being late.​​

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The next day I returned to my afternoon play routine and just put the event away. I wonder now, what if I had decided to confront my religious teachers about GOD'S Books then, instead of waiting until adulthood? But I didn't do that. My bar mitzvah was 7 years later. I didn't discuss Isaiah 53 with anyone until my twenties.

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I feel this short memory finally returned to me, years following being Born Again in Christ, because I was incorrectly thinking GOD does not reach out to us enough.

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After decades, I learned it's much better to listen to GOD'S answers. My story is how I learned this and how it happened - it happened because of the love and patience of GOD.​

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The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise as some understand slowness, but is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish but everyone to come to repentance.

2 Peter 3-9 ​​​​

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Chapter 8 - Additions

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I felt like I was beyond the outer edges of our universe where Creation takes place, a peaceful place. Angels weren't here, nor others. Vast barriers of insurmountable distances in time and space existed and only GOD moves these distances. My energy kept me in place.

I experienced this alone but felt no loneliness - a place for GOD and His created being.  GOD is not boring and when GOD first Taught me, I found it amazing. Awe, power, patience and love are all there and more. It's a grateful awe over GOD's Love and interest in us.

GOD is our blessing. Derived from the Power of GOD's law, as a piece of GOD, we arrive with responsibility toward GOD. We have free-will and my own pride about this has caused me difficulties. Overcoming difficulties is something best done based on one's individual Relationship with GOD. GOD creates in many ways; everyone is unique and special.  1 Peter 1:2 was an individual study for me. The Holy Spirit of GOD is how we stay obedient to The Messiah, Son of GOD, so that every day, we get closer to GOD

My first encounter with GOD was of wonder and joy, being alive and infinity within reach. But I've listened to others, and many encounters in Spirit sound even more beautiful to me than mine does! But when something's your own, it's always the most special for you.
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Chapter 9 -  Why Spirituality

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I was once asked if God demands Worship.

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I can't even imagine it. The way I experienced and the feelings I felt about GOD appeared to me as if there was nothing needed, not from me, from anyone or anything. The peace which was about GOD is also something which makes me doubt a demand for worship. 

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Now looking back, that may be why the topic was never mentioned. I'm pretty sure if it had been I would have asked if it would be ok, and how best to do it. That's how great I honored GOD.

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I was once asked about the afterlife being a distraction. It was the idea that right now is when to make things better instead of waiting for a future in heaven. Some have said that religion giving hope about the afterlife prevents making things better for the here and now.

But my understanding is it's important that people should try and make things better for themselves and for others, here and now, I agree. But my worry is that too many go about it without help from GOD.

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Although we may have intended well, often times things go wrong without help from The Holy Spirit of GOD. Solutions based on love do exist but finding and implementing those is also where help from GOD is important. 

Seeking GOD and harboring The Holy Spirit, our Connection to our Creator, sent to us by The Messiah, is most important to our future as individuals, but also needed for permanent fixes to the world's big problems. The more who seek their Creator, The Creator - the better things become. Give it a try during your improvements - I believe you may soon agree!

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Chapter 10 - Potentials

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I've thought about the conclusions which can be understood from my Conversations with The HOLY ONE, our Creator. These three may be of interest to others as they have been to me..

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The Correct Religion.

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Deconstruction from existing or past beliefs doesn't need to happen prior to construction of The Relationship with your Creator. Deconstruction may not be needed at all. Anything needing change is better achieved with help from GOD. ​

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The Son of GOD, The Lord Jesus Christ is The Way and Brings Good News to the entire world - right now, to whoever, and wherever. I believe anyone who seeks their Creator, The Almighty Creator, will be taking steps toward Truth. In John 15 Jesus Says:

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26 "When The Advocate comes, whom I will send to you from The Father— The Spirit of Truth who proceeds from The Father— He will testify about Me. 

27 "And you also must testify, because you have been with Me from the beginning."
 

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Obviously, my path should not be placed as more important than any others' - I decoupled from some norms, but not others.​ A change inspired by GOD is a great thing. Big changes or small ones should not be a person's focus. But instead, The Relationship with GOD should. Constantly searching for changes is not required to begin, nor becoming greatly studied in scripture.​​

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Jesus reminds us that GOD values mercy over traditions or strategies. Forgive yourself and forgive others. Allow GOD to begin Work in you.

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Forgiveness:

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I believe that nearly everyone in present day, arrived here without their full memory intact. Pre-birth memories often return later in life, and I believe most, mine included, are only a small excerpt of our experiences before this world.
 
I learned how Grace is powerful. It's a disadvantage arriving without memory, but important for learning and strengthening humility; increasing awareness of how we use our free-will and how powerful our decisions. Discuss Grace with GOD.
 

Forgiveness takes time to apply and often longer to complete. Still, forgiveness is for the moment when first possible, don't wait for future in Heaven to learn about unconditional love and forgiveness. These allow hope for us and present repentance without fear.

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If we forgive others and move forward in a positive path, with love and patience, we become first responders for GOD. This is the help which GOD requested of me. ​

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Desires:

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The desire to give and receive love appeared to me as a characteristic rather than a desire. Love appears as something which starts small and then grows. Beyond love and the desire to help things be better, worldly desires appeared as temporary: created, removed and adaptive. But they don't appear to increase in the way love does. 

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Stronger or different desires may be in our future, or we may build on those which we have and can be Righteous in the eyes of GOD. Desires help us familiarize ourselves with better possible paths when we go about them in accordance with The Desires and Will of GOD.

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Reincarnation.

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From my out-of-body experience as a child, I don't want reincarnation but rather Heaven.  Walking with GOD, a person can be prepared for their future.

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The complexity of life and our own nature warrants The Relationship with our Creator, which will allow us to better prepare for our future. A person does not need to wait and can start now.

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Past life or new soul, right now is Grace and for your Connection with GOD! Past details will be less important as you participate, planning your future, with GOD, The Best Guide.

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Choose life with GOD.
Have Faith in The ONE GOD and Faith on The Lord Jesus Christ our Messiah and Saviour. ​​​
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Have Faith in Proverbs 30:4, The ONE GOD and The Lord Jesus Christ, Saviour and Messiah. 

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...Who has established all the ends of the earth? What is his name, and what is the name of his son? Surely you know!​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​